David "Heavy" Levy's Journal

Sidenote
I often feel like I'm wasting the life I've been given, and could be doing so much more with my time. I stay at home all too often, when I could be going out to meet new people or helping out the community. The fact that I could be doing more but don't makes me feel like the world is passing me by. It feels like I have so many opportunities, but am letting all of them pass by ... only to be taken by other people who are not as introverted as I've ultimately become. It's funny, cause I've always thought of myself as an extrovert, but I guess I have come to realize the real me.

Last year was a revelation. I found out so many things about myself that it almost seems like it was necessary for me to go through that process. Some of these things include: feeling good after a hard work out, my passion for loud-ass music like limp bizkit and linkin park, my ability to flirt under the right circumstances, playing guitar and writing lyrics (although not to the best of my ability, see entry 1), and my deepend interest in neuropsychology. I really came on my own last year, but it feels like this year was a complete reversal of roles. All I feel myself wanting right now is to go back home, the feeling of comfort that will be received once I am no longer alone.

I find that I do ok by myself if I have friends around, or something or someone engaging my time. When I have nothing going for me though and I feel like I am wandering aimlessly and utterly lost. This is exactly how I feel this year, as my classes are not engaging enough and my friends remain in the warmth of their own homes.

This gets me thinking, maybe I like the music I do because I am angry at the world. Angry that things don't go the way I would like them to, angry that other people aren't as friendly as I would have hoped they would be. I don't know where things will go from here, all I know is that I need a change of pace from the world I am currently living in

Current Mood: disappointed

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